By TAY TIAN YAN
Translated by DOMINIC LOH
Sin Chew Daily
As the political squabbles get heated up, many people find themselves suffering from political anxiety disorder.
The signs and symptoms of this kind of disorder include excessive indulgence that has been elevated to a level comparable to superstition. On hearing of political slogans, they can starve themselves or refrain from their favourite sitcoms and jump into the action.
Politicians do not need to be of superior calibre. All they need is the ability to mobilise the masses. Their supporters, on the other hand, do not need to be thinkers, so long as they enjoy getting involved.
If things were to go on this way, we will in no time find ourselves in a chaotic state.
The following test should serve as a good benchmark how far you have gone into that disorder:
1. There isn't anything more important than politics in day-to-day life.
True or false.
2. If someone is not a friend, he must be a foe, politically speaking.
True or false.
3. My stand should be construed as the righteous stand, and what I think should be interpreted as the view of most Malaysians.
True or false.
4. Nothing that my rivals do is acceptable. Even if it is, it must be some kind of conspiracy.
True or false.
5. If someone supports my rival party, he must be a traitor.
True or false.
6. If someone speaks in a different tune from me, he or she must have been bought over by some rival party.
True or false.
7. Those attending the rally are courageous and righteous people, and those not attending are cowards.
True or false.
8. Rally participants hit by tear gas and water cannons are way more heroic than those having escaped unhurt.
True or false.
9. No rallies can ever be peaceful, as objectives could never be achieved through peaceful rallies.
True or false.
10. Democracy is all about bringing down the incumbent government.
True or false.
11. If you hate someone, swing your buttocks in front of his/her house.
True or false.
12. To teach him/her a lesson, set up burger stalls outside his/her gate.
True or false.
You get one point for each of the questions with a "True" answer.
If your total score is "0", congratulations, you are absolutely normal.
1-4: Lightly anxious; relax and shun the political noise.
5-8: Obvious signs and symptoms; stay away from political websites and Facebook.
9-12: See a doctor right away.
