"Hey! Everyone's talking about the what 'O-Little General's Report.' What the hell is that?"

"What 'O-Little General'? It's 'Auditor General'!"

"I don't care what General he is; he must be a master of some sort. Each time he comes, he creates more hoohah than Master Hsin Yun. Newspapers and coffee shops are all talking about him. Fantastic!"

"This 'Auditor General' is not a master preaching some kind of sermon. He is the officer overseeing how the money is spent by government departments!"

"Wow! Then he must be kinda big shot!"

"Not really. He can be as big or as small as you want."

"What do you mean by that? Buying lottery ticket or what?"

"Nay! What I'm trying to say is that this post is pretty weird here in Malaysia. He should be a very important person, but many don't seem to take him too seriously."

"Why? He's not doing any work?"

"Wrong! But too much to some people. The report released annually by his department has embarrassed many!"

"You mean he's like the paparazzi?"

"Not really. More like a scavenger digging up the dirt."

"What has he exposed this time?"

"More than enough. Those thick volumes would need a whole week to digest. Among the highlights, RM990 for some stationery, and lots of businesses invested by government institutions are bleeding real hard!"

"Wow! That's interesting, man!"

"Interesting, huh? I almost vomit blood knowing it!"

"Cool down, folk! You should learn to appreciate these people's marvellous creativity, turning the hundreds into thousands. No... it should be into millions!"

"Oh, my! You look so delighted! But that is the people's money!"

"No, no, no... I'm just trying to look at things in a more optimistic way. This shows our treasury is indeed abundant! Otherwise, there won't be anything for anyone to dig!"

"Give up on you!"

"C'mon! Relax! This is the best incentive to bring people to the public sector!"

"The treasury will sooner or later be emptied by them! I don't see a future here!"

"Cheer up, buddy!. We're still here, working like dogs and surrendering the income taxes spontaneously year after year to fill up the national coffers and feed those monkeys!"

"Aye! What's the point releasing the report if no actions are to be taken?"

"Don't ever try to take any action, or you'll ruin the morale of public servants, who will then flare up at the government."

"What to do then? Continue mumbling here so that they can keep having the fun?"

"Why not treat it like some sort of Guinness Records for Malaysia: getting bigger by the year? Malaysia really boleh!" (By TAY TIAN YAN/Translated by DOMINIC LOH/Sin Chew Daily)